Success is the Ultimate Revenge

Most people have had an experience where someone has doubted them, mistreated them, or beaten them down, only to cause bitter feelings against the person. For some, it’s as simple as a teacher saying you can’t make it to the NFL. For others, it’s something deceptive and personal that betrays your trust. We have all likely had an experience where we were angered or hurt and wanted revenge, even in a small way.

From the outset, I want to say that I don’t think revenge is a good thing. I’m not at all encouraging the type of revenge you see in famous stories like The Count of Monte Cristo or The Revenant. But we would all be lying if we have not had bitterness and wanted an outlet to deal with it, and to be real, I don’t think a pithy statement like, “forgive and forget” is helpful. It doesn’t change the anger or the hurt. Instead, when we feel the desire for revenge, we can channel it in a healthy way.

Here's how: success is the ultimate revenge. What does that even mean? I first heard this concept from the entrepreneur Andy Frisella, and I’ve found it to be so true in my own life. He talks a lot about how to deal with doubt, hate, or competitors bringing you down, and that relying on the so called “dark energy” of revenge and payback is not sustainable. And even if you did, it wouldn’t be worth it in the end. That person would look at you and wonder why you’d been thinking of getting back at them this whole time. The alternative is success. Channel the bitterness you would normally place in an unhealthy part of your brain and direct it to becoming the best person you can be. Be so undeniable at what you are doing that it can’t be ignored.

I think there’s hints of this in scripture, too. Though we might use different words for it, I think that Jesus’ brother James is trying to say the same kind of concept in his letter:

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.*”

Whoa! First of all, I don’t think James is talking about revenge for your 10^th grade teacher who doubted you, but I do think there is an overlap of concepts here. The main idea is that if you want to be wise, you don’t go around boasting about it as if your words matter the most. What makes you wise is your ability to live life well. Don’t make selfish ambition and bitterness the pinnacle, which is the root of revenge. Instead, live a good life full of righteous action. Be as successful as you can be with the life you have. Don’t let bitterness control your life, because it’s not worth it. Be as successful as you possibly can, because success is the ultimate revenge.

*James 3:13-15