The Single Greatest Skill You Can Develop

“You’re always so happy,” a student told me as he walked into class last year and I greeted him at the door. That student would also be nicknamed “honey bun” for once eating three honeybuns for breakfast. But what he and others noticed is something I had worked on intentionally throughout my career as a teacher, which is being more emotionally consistent. It is enough that many of these students have to deal with their own parents and friends who may be all over the place emotionally, so I thought the least I could do is be consistent with them. I was even more encouraged when I heard this quote from business owner Alex Hormozi:

“The single greatest skill you can develop is the ability to stay in a great mood in the absence of things to be in a great mood about.”

It’s so often that people are grouchy, and when you ask why, they shrug their shoulders or can’t explain it. “I’m just in a bad mood,” they say. But if you can be in a bad mood about anything, Alex says, then you can find a reason to be in a great mood. I will always attempt to choose the latter option. Life always gets in the way, but I’ve found that especially when it comes to your job or limited interactions with people, I have much more control over my mood than I realized. I don’t need to “fake it till I make it” with my life if I’m not in a good mood, but I can still greet people excitedly and respond to the world joyfully. That part is a choice, or as Hormozi says, a skill. I’m certainly an example of this in the worst way just as I am in the best way. I can’t tell you how many times my wife has said, “you’re so dramatic” in the last few years. But I also know that in my faults, I also have a strength, and I work at getting better every day.

Here’s the thing: you don’t have complete control over your emotions. You can guide them and shape them, but emotions are emotions and need to be felt. The things that are more tangible, however, like your body language or your attentiveness to someone when they are speaking to you, are learned skills. You can choose to be a good listener or a respectful person. Your emotions may still be the same, but your outward expression to others is radically different. The little adjustments, such as smiling when you see someone, showing enthusiasm when you’re talking, and confidently being yourself, make a huge difference to the eye of the audience. You may not actually be in a good mood, but you will have soon forgotten, convinced yourself you are, or at the very least, persuaded everyone else you are in a great mood. The single greatest skill you can develop is the ability to stay in a great mood in the absence of things to be in a great mood about.