Framing Our Words Differently
When I was in student teaching, I remember not being very excited about the opportunity. Sure, I counted the positives in my head to understand its importance, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t want to do it that badly. After a few weeks of feeling this way, I decided that I wanted to frame it in a different way.
When people asked, “How was your week of student teaching?” I would try and raise my level of optimism for the week, even if I didn’t feel 100% optimistic. I’d share something positive from that week instead of a vague, mediocre answer. I tried to be grateful for what I was experiencing. Later into the semester, I remember a friend saying to me, “you know, every time I ask about student teaching it seems like you are enjoying it more than the last time I asked.” I guess my plan worked.
Though at the time I was just trying something new, I later found through many books that what I was doing was scientifically backed. The way we talk about our lives and interpret our life experiences determines our outlook. To name one example, authors Dan Sullivan and Benjamin Hardy share the following in The Gap and The Gain:
“The way you mentally filter experiences shapes your emotional and physical response to those experiences…Research shows that your interpretation of events, despite their objective characteristics, determines the impact of stress and illness on your body. The way you interpret an experience literally affects how your body metabolizes that experience. Perception shapes biology.”
How you perceive your reality affects your body in tangible ways. How crazy is that? We have the power to transform our lives into something bigger than what they seem. If we search for the negatives, we will find them. If we search for the positives, we will also find them. It isn’t to say we shouldn’t recognize the negatives, either. I think a life lesson I’ve learned is that just because you can frame something as a positive experience does not mean you should force it or shove away the clear downsides. Rose colored glasses should still be able to see something that is harming you. But there is still immense power in framing your perspective to see the positives in everything.
None of us are perfect at this. Frankly, I struggled with framing the positives this past week even with it being a wonderful Thanksgiving week. In whatever way works for you, start framing things differently. Whether it’s the way you journal, talk to your family, or share about your weekend with a colleague, we can all be grateful for our life experiences. For oftentimes, the way we perceive our life is the way it is actually going.
